I've prayed for this vessle but
it is
strange
and strangely satisfying
to
know that
I would have been saved
saved
saved if not
for a moment of
foolishness
A moment of influence that spawned
thousands, millions
of children, twisting
and thrashing
softly
I told them that I was bright
er
smarter, I was born to beat
them but it
turned out differently
funny its
so damn funny how
I could have
avoided
abnormality by
simply lying
down but I am
more than a silent
observer.
Hey, post your stuff here
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What the OG's blog is all about
Hi everybody! OG Kriz's Gangster Blogtime is a blog for anyone to submit their own creative or non-fiction writing or poetry. You can expect to get an honest opinion on your writing and some creative criticism as well. Also, if you don't feel like writing anything specifically you can just post about anything you feel like talking about (song lyrics, something that's upsetting you, etc.).
P.S
I would appreciate it if everyone who is going to post will take some time to write at decently long post. I.e, don't waste my time =p
P.S
I would appreciate it if everyone who is going to post will take some time to write at decently long post. I.e, don't waste my time =p
Seriously good Nick. You should keep this up. That last stanza could be the basis for a song, too.
ReplyDeleteThis was a really interesting post. I liked it.
ReplyDeleteGood poetry man, keep up the writing. It would be a huge waste of immense talent to do otherwise.
ReplyDeleteAnd the ninja part was awesome! The video was killer, I watched it like nine times!
The use of enjambment to multiply the meanings your lines have here is quite good <------ understatement.
ReplyDeleteonly criticism: "vessle" on the first line it should be "vessel", unless it was intended to be spelled in a non-traditional way... but I can't see a reason for that.